This past Sunday, I had the delightful opportunity to visit yet another church. Mike and I have been visiting churches on and off for the past year and let me tell you, it is physically, mentally and spiritually exasperating. It's not usually the worship or messages we're as concerned about, but the people within the Christian community. Prior to and after the service, I always feel as though I'm in middle school all over again-not knowing who to approach or what to do or say, but at the same time, not having anyone introduce themselves to you or welcome you to their church. Perhaps as a newcomer, I should approach others, but I always feel awkward doing so. These are the times I despise the most and coming from a church, it's worst than school cliques. This has been our experience with about 80% of the churches we've visited.

Being a Christian myself, I can understand that there is no perfect church because we are not perfect. Maybe there are many faces that come and go and people may be busy or consumed with other responsibilities, but if I were a non-Christian, I would be appalled and would refuse to return to church. Maybe this is just a Californian thing, but is church based soley upon who you know and how involved you are, in order to enter this exclusive social network?

As far back as I can remember, I've been attending church my entire life. I know they say church isn't just about the people, it's about God, but I can't tell you how many times I have been turned off by other Christians within the church.

I see church as a community, a place where you can openly share your fears, confessions, desires, struggles and so forth. Not only that, but it is a place where a group of people who love God, want to do his will by spreading his love to those within and outside of the church. Mission trips don't only start in the summer and end when it's over. It's everyday and everywhere. So in a sense, "church" is not confined to a single building where people come to worship and pray each week. If Christ lives in us we are the church and the Jesus people will see, and that's kind of a huge responsibility.

Growing up in church, I felt as though I knew all the stories and answers to every Sunday School lesson. I grew tired and weary of the idea of attending "church," and went only to appease my parents. I would get antsy in my seat during sermons and held back the desire to whisper and doodle, as I had gotten chastised numerous of times for doing so. This only furthered my frustrations. I never really understood what it was like to have an actual relationship with God. For that reason, I rebelled by skipping church and hung around friends whom I thought were more accepting and less judgmental. Though I put it upon myself, I would cringe at the words and looks of Christians passing judgement on my "rebellious" attitude. I told myself, "if this was what church was all about, why attend?"

Don't get me wrong, I've had many positive experiences with the church that far outweigh the negative. Some of the most respectable people I've met have been at church and they continue to influence me to this day. When I see the youth lovingly accept newcomers and make them feel at home, it brings a smile to my face because I've been in those shoes.

However, I feel as though this is such a basic and huge step for the church. If someone new comes to your church, don't shy away and act as though you don't notice. Notice and make them feel at home. Don't do it just because you're expected to as an usher. Do it because you care, people know when you're not being genuine. Whether or not they know Christ, they are part of our community and God calls us to reach out to our neighbors.

Sometimes I feel helpless and too imperfect to create change, but if we all thought that way, nothing would ever change. This may be a passive way to do it, but writing allows me to process and voice the thoughts in my scrambled mind.

I love Shane Claiborne's revolutionary thinking on creating this haven:

And I am the first to say that we need more safe places, especially in the church, where folks can ask tough questions and seek truth together in humility and grace. I long for people to fall in love with God and each other, and so I'm a big fan of being radically inclusive, whether that means not turning off transsexuals or folks who drive SUVs. But I also became aware of how delicate that venture can prove to be. The temptation we face is to compromise for the cost of discipleship, and in the process, the Christian identity can get lost. We don't want folks to walk away. We're driven by a sincere longing for others to know God's love and grace and to experience Christian community. And yet we can end up merely cheapening the very thing we want folks to experience. (The Irresistible Revolution, p.104-105)

This song by Casting Crowns always makes me wonder- what kind of church are we portraying?

If We Are The Body

It's crowded in worship today
As she slips in trying to fade into the faces
The girls teasing laughter is
carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know

Chorus:
But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way?
There is a way

A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat and quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgmental glances
Tells him that his chances are better out on the road

Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the body of Christ

Jesus is the way

*Some of this information may be offensive, if you are the type that gets offended easily, I advise you to stop reading at this point.

I know this topic has been discussed numerous of times, but I figured I’d put in my two cents, based on a female’s perspective. I have to say that I’m tired of seeing girl friends put themselves in relationships that are either abusive (physically, verbally, mentally) or one-sided. I’m also tired of seeing great guys being passed up for these jerks that end up dating these women.

We’re all familiar with the typical excuses we women come up with when we are really into a guy that may not be the best for us:

“He says he’ll never do it again.” – I was just discussing this with several friends and this is a common response with women who are being abused, it’s a vicious cycle of denial.

“But he says he’s going to change."- Sorry, most men never change, especially after they're past their adolescent years. Some even get progressively worse after marriage. If you don’t love him as he is now, you better start getting used to it if you intend on marrying the guy.

“But I find him very attractive, plus he’s got a nice bod." - Fast forward a couple decades and your ideal mate will be sporting a beer gut, gray hair, wrinkles, and maybe an extra 10 lbs per decade or child.

“But nice guys are boring.” – In high school, most girls enjoy the thrill of dating a “bad boy.” I can understand that, I’ve been there before. The initial rush of “falling in love” can be invigorating but short-lived. Studies have shown that the infatuation period only lasts three months. Afterwards, you’re left to deal with the consequences this “bad boy” has left you, and sometimes that includes chlamydia and a baby.

So there has to be a reason why women are flocking to these mediocre men. Based on my observations and past experiences, it seems to be a combination of looks and the “chase.”

The Chase- Women, like men, sometimes unintentionally fall for the “hard to get” types. As little girls, we enjoyed being chased by boys, while the boys enjoyed the game of chasing little girls. Not much has changed, except perhaps now, most girls are chasing the boys. Nothing’s wrong with a confident woman who has the balls (er guts) to go after a guy, but when does it become desperation? I’ve seen too many women who have actively pursued the man who wasn’t as into them, only to have resulted in infidelity, divorce or a mediocre marriage. Is this what we women really want?

Looks- Romance novels and Hollywood have tainted our views on what the ideal man should look like: tall, dark and handsome (aka Edward Cullen). Okay really, how many of these men exist? Just as only less than 5% of the population looks like a supermodel, the same goes for men. I’ve always considered my mom a woman of wisdom, and she has passed along my great-grandpa’s words [my translation]: Never marry a ridiculously good looking man, as he will not belong only to you, but to many other women. First let me clarify, there are good-looking guys out there who are extremely loyal to their women, but there aren’t many (ahem, Brad Pitt?). As an adolescent, I never heeded words of advice from elders and was left to face the consequences of my own decisions. Let’s just say I am glad I never married the guy.

So back to the mind-boggling question, why do nice guys seem to always finish last? Do women need to date a few jerks (or kiss a few toads) in order to realize that they can be treated with respect, care and love? Maybe. Women, you deserve so much more than you realize. Don’t waste your time on a guy that refuses to change, take advantage of you and give you his lame excuses. To the nice guys out there: please don’t turn into a jerk in order to get a girl. Keep being the great guy that you are and one day, you will be awarded with a wonderful woman. You may finish last, but you will finish strong.


Who would you choose?

Whether or not you'd like to admit it, we all have our guilty pleasures. The things we enjoy and do that contribute to nobody but ourselves. These things purely exist just for the temporary moments of joy, and can fade as quickly as they come. And here is my current list of guilty obsessions:

Hors de Prix "Priceless"(2006) Starring Audrey Tautou - A modern-day version of "Breakfast at Tiffany's," one of my favorite movies. Similar story line, but has that added French twist that makes it unique.



Leather and Pleather - Whether or not a cow died for it (as you can tell, I am not a Vegan), the two materials make excellent shoes, jackets, skirts, purses, dog collars, you name it. I can never get enough of it.



Second-hand and Consignment Stores - Hard times calls for saving those dimes. You'll never believe what you can find at these places if you're patient. I'm a firm believer of one woman's trash may be another woman's treasure.  Something I found at the Goodwill store in SF:


Alexander Wang Vested Silk Blouse - Retails for 481.00 I paid: 4.50 (that's two decimal spaces!)

Quality over Quantity- I have to say that I am honestly tired of buying clothes that either lose their color in the washer, shrink, fall apart, etc. and buying cheap jewelry that ends up rusting on me within half a year, or falling off my ears without a trace. It's going to be hard, but I'm going to see how long I can stay away from stores like Forever 21. Most of the time, we end up buying too many items that we don't even need, soley based on the price. Spending more on items that will last longer than a few years pays off itself in the long run.



All things French - My obsession with the French during my second year in college has hit me again-- the movies, food, cooking-ware, style/fashion... Yes, they're known to be snotty and pretentious, but whatever. Like George W. Bush, they'll always have a soft spot in my heart.


Taken from: http://www.garancedore.fr/en/category/streetstyle-photos/

Whole Foods Coffee Beans - Why pay for Starbucks when you can brew your own cup of coffee that tastes a hundred times better?




The Twilight Series by Stephenie Meyers- I am currently finishing up the fourth book, Breaking Dawn, and have been hooked after the first book, Twilight (special thanks to my cousin Sarah). If you haven't read the book, PLEASE DO NOT WATCH THE MOVIE!! Being a past Buffy fan, I was delighted. No, this isn't about the creepy flashing-fangs, cape, slicked back hair, anti-garlic type of vampires. The series is the ultimate guilty pleasure, which is why it totally belongs in this list. Brings you back to your adolescent days, except better.




Romanticism - The art, the music, the plays, this was such a lovely and imaginative period in art history. Since I will be teaching this, I might as well let myself become intrigued. Oh, and it has themes related to the Twilight series.


William Blake 1795 - drawn from Shakespeare's Macbeth

Frederic Chopin - Waltz Opus 64 has always been one of my faves. I wish I played more of his music back when I was "forced" into taking piano lessons. His music is timeless and impressive. Oh how I wish I learned to appreciate Classical music earlier in life. Our parents were right all along when they said, "One day you'll thank us for making you take music lessons!!"

 
Chopin in the eyes of artist Delacroix

Gossip Girl- Season 2 and still going... Like a tasteful soap opera but with fabulous clothing. This show has eye candy written all over it. Only problem I have with the show is what it's teaching adolescents these days.



That concludes my list, for now.

So what are your guilty obsessions?